If I Tell by Janet Gurtler

"Jasmine Evans knows one thing for sure... people make mistakes. After all, she is one. Jaz is the result of a onenight stand between a black football player and a blonde princess. Having a young mother who didn't raise her, a father who wants nothing to do with her and living in a small-minded town where she's never fit in hasn't been easy. But she's been surviving. Until she sees her mom's new boyfriend making out with her own best friend. When do you forgive people for being human or give up on them forever?"-GoodReads.

Paperback, 256 pages

Published October 1st 2011 by Sourcebooks Fire

Source: Sourcebook Fire via Netgalley

If I Tell tackles a lot of issues. It addresses wanting to fit in, not really having parents, the danger of keeping secrets and even the danger of telling secrets. But the issue I thought just shined in this story, everyone is not always what they seem and that everyone has a secret. 

Through most of the book Jaz acts like she is the only one going through a hard time. That she was the only different one and the only one holding onto a secret that could ruin lives, which was not true at all. 


This was all good to a point. Sometimes the multitude of issues became a lot to keep up with.
Jaz was also a whiner about all of the issues she was faced with. She complained about not having anyone in her life, but she never made any attempt to get close to anyone. And when anyone tried to get close to her she held them at arms length.
She kind of acted like since bad things happened to her she has the right to hate certain people and mope around complaining all the time. Bad things happen to everyone. You don't like it, you change it. That what I wanted to yell at her multiple times. And to stop jumping to conclusions about everyone before she knows the whole story.


Even though I had some problems with Jaz's character, I did enjoy the book. The writing style was very enjoyable and I did appreciate how everything came together in the end. Though all I could keep thinking was, if you hadn't have kept this secret none of this would have happened...but then there would not have been a book so I suppose that doesn't matter.
If I Tell was a solid contemporary that I enjoyed reading. It is a bit heavy and faces some serious issues, but I suggest giving it a try.

I received this book free of charge from the publisher or author in exchange for an honest review. This, in no way, altered my opinion of the story or my review.

Dark Parties by Sara Grant

"Sixteen-year-old Neva has been trapped since birth. She was born and raised under the Protectosphere, in an isolated nation ruled by fear, lies, and xenophobia. A shield "protects" them from the outside world, but also locks the citizens inside. But there's nothing left on the outside, ever since the world collapsed from violent warfare. Or so the government says...

Neva and her best friend Sanna believe the government is lying and stage a "dark party" to recruit members for their underground rebellion. But as Neva begins to uncover the truth, she realizes she must question everything she's ever known, including the people she loves the most."-GoodReads.

Hardcover, 320 pages

Published August 3rd 2011 by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Source: NetGalley

I have always had a bit of a fear or being stuck in one place forever, never being able to see anything other than one place for my entire life. Reading Dark Parties gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to be forced to stay in one place. To be stuck under a dome, never knowing what was on the other side. Honestly, the whole book made me feel claustrophobic. But I'm lucky because I have the choice to leave though, to go new places. Neva doesn't. She is stuck under the Protectosphere with the need to be free and an incredible case of wanderlust, but not being able to satiate it. So she does what pretty much every teenager has done, she rebels a little bit.
Well, she thinks it is just a little thing. But that little thing, that little spark, ignites into a wildfire that changes Neva's life forever. 


Instead of the world growing, it feels like it keeps getting smaller as the story progresses...and I mean this in a good way. It made the story feel very intricate and definitely more intense at times. Things that may not have seemed like they would connect would in fact be connected to each other, making it a 'smaller world'. 


Neva was a great character. The book starts with a makeout scene, which I will admit, I rolled my eyes at. I did not care enough about the characters at that point to want to 'see' them making out...but, for me, it ended up being a really good opening to the story. It really puts you in Neva's mind right away. What she thinks, who she is, what she's scared of. The beginning grew on me as the story went on.


I really had no idea what to expect when I decided to read Dark Parties. I certainly did not expect it to be so...dark (though the title should have really given me a clue, right?). It was though. Dark and gritty.
Some of the scenes felt a bit choppy, but over all it was a great read.
After getting attached to characters just to have them be ripped away or betray Neva (which left me feeling betrayed), I was emotionally drained. Seriously, I walked around in a weird mood mumbling to myself that I couldn't believe how the book had ended and that there better be a sequel so that all the wrongs could be set right. That I could not be left with an ending like that.


Dark Parties is more than just a fantastic dystopian, it is also a great thriller and chock full of suspense. So if you like any of those three things, pick up a copy for yourself.

Hold Still-Nina LaCour.

"An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide.

dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t.

Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself."-GoodReads.

Paperback, 256 pages

Published October 5th 2010 by Speak (first published September 25th 2009)

Source: Bought

Hold Still was a hard book to read. So so much emotion in it and all of it is just so raw and real. But the journey that takes place is incredible.
My heart hurt for Caitlin. The parts when she is remembering things about Ingrid that were clear signs of her depression and how she kept thinking she could have and should have done something were the hardest.
The only thing I didn't like was Caitlin's parents. A couple times it just felt like they (especially her mom) thought that Caitlin should be over it. Like there is a deadline for the mourning process and Caitlin was way past it. They didn't act like that all the time, just sometimes.
I especially enjoyed all the photography talk in the book. Caitlin loves photography. I love photography. And the way Caitlin pours herself into her work, taking the pictures, developing them. It's beautiful.

I would highly recommend this book. But it is not light, nor is it fluffy. So you are forewarned that it might evoke emotions you didn't know you had. Or it just might make you more emotional than you already are.

4.5/5 for Hold Still.